we're chasing vodka with high fives
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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