Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
