Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
