dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
