So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
