my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
did i just pee glitter