Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (389): View more from

  So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (389): So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut" http://tfl.nu/g5tq
  Replies (4) Good night (1315) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing... http://tfl.nu/ohtd
  Replies (61) Good night (634) Bad night (4286)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  His pubic hair was longer than his dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): His pubic hair was longer than his dick http://tfl.nu/f6nh
  Replies (69) Good night (1399) Bad night (27102)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung. http://tfl.nu/lg9m
  Replies (18) Good night (5176) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit. http://tfl.nu/d25i
  Replies (17) Good night (4155) Bad night (2251)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends. http://tfl.nu/prst
  Replies (13) Good night (1036) Bad night (4189)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country http://tfl.nu/39z8
  Replies (16) Good night (4895) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis http://tfl.nu/rw8g
  Replies (2) Good night (4478) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print. http://tfl.nu/m0e5
  Replies (7) Good night (1751) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with. http://tfl.nu/g52q
  Replies (8) Good night (893) Bad night (1360)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference. http://tfl.nu/5ngp
  Replies (6) Good night (804) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist http://tfl.nu/96uk
  Replies (7) Good night (1311) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage http://tfl.nu/3lzu
  Replies (1) Good night (871) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I just told the sun to stop. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/3xc8
  Replies (3) Good night (584) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis. http://tfl.nu/1o6v
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (345)

Randomize