She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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