He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid