it hurts more in the daytime
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i think i have herpe
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...