Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...