Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.

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  (303): I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is. http://tfl.nu/uj2o
  Replies (14) Good night (3689) Bad night (752)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?

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  (314): WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport? http://tfl.nu/fnf6
  Replies (63) Good night (7223) Bad night (1324)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Ew, and?!

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.

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  (703): She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal. (540): Ew, and?! (703): Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards. http://tfl.nu/xpq2
  Replies (36) Good night (1025) Bad night (7798)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.

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  (772): He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days. http://tfl.nu/gr0g
  Replies (14) Good night (1639) Bad night (2373)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.

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  (435): i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down. http://tfl.nu/j1eb
  Replies (16) Good night (1246) Bad night (3363)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.

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  (660): I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym. http://tfl.nu/tj7a
  Replies (7) Good night (3630) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.

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  (314): Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning. http://tfl.nu/u08e
  Replies (7) Good night (3389) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever

  (509): View more from Washington

  but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid

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  (412): you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever (509): but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid http://tfl.nu/bu4c
  Replies (9) Good night (2444) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.

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  (860): I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us. http://tfl.nu/pfss
  Replies (3) Good night (1764) Bad night (991)
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  (916): View more from California

  I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.

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  (916): I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing. http://tfl.nu/ei5o
  Replies (2) Good night (1222) Bad night (478)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"

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  (208): I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth" http://tfl.nu/32vn
  Replies (8) Good night (1188) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left

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  (775): FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left http://tfl.nu/965v
  Replies (7) Good night (396) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.

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  (248): PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW. http://tfl.nu/5tmy
  Replies (7) Good night (1134) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS

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  (480): COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS http://tfl.nu/rprl
  Replies (4) Good night (657) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.

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  (954): You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one. http://tfl.nu/l0kb
  Replies (4) Good night (373) Bad night (786)

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