Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize