The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.