I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her