Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize