It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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