You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
