oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
