I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
His nipple licking is glorious
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