Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
