she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
