I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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