when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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