A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
