The brown eye won't let me do that either.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
