My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
