And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
