It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Randomize
