bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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