i just google imaged poop.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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