I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
