Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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