no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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