I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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