THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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