Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
