she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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