Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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