porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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