Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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