his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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