no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
