hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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