You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
