my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I enjoy the company of your penis
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize