She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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