Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im drinking this country out of the recession.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
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So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
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Can you bring me the toilet please
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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