shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
