i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
