spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
