my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
