Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
