I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just google imaged poop.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
