i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
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Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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