doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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