Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
