His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
