they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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