we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
