Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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