The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think i have herpe
just one?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
As shirtless as possible
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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