But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
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We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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