I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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